Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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