Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
