i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
