I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
