fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
