apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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