just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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