He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
