summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
