to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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