There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
