it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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