Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Randomize
