I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize