Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
