...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
