so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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