3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
