hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
