Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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