i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
My ass is underappreciated
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
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