so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
