make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
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