Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
