similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
