She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
