hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
