Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
