Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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