he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
