blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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