I want to stick my p in your. b.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
