the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
