he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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