is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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