Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
