I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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