Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I AM VODKA MAN
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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