I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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