I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
