1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
