Whod you bang
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Also, beer. Big fan.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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