I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
