someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
