By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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