Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
the condom got lost in my hair
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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