Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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