that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
