my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
