I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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