Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
