there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
