god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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