So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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