Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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