Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize