Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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