Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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