So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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