White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
