finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
