bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize