Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
