So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
