D3 body, D1 cock
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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