as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
did i walk over a car last night?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
