Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
We're like a lot better than the average bears
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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