You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
