PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
