just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
