nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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