If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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