a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
