He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
