Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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